I’ve brought newborns home from surrogacy births across state lines and across an ocean. My longest trip was flying newborn twins from the U.S. to Hong Kong. The families who travel most smoothly rarely have the most money or the most flexibility. They’re the ones who understood the vocabulary early enough to ask the right questions.
Surrogacy comes with its own language, and agencies, clinics, and attorneys tend to use it without explaining it. This glossary covers the terms I hear most, with notes on where they affect the trip home.
The people
Intended parents (IPs). The person or people who will raise the baby, whether or not they are genetically related to the child.
Gestational carrier (GC). A woman who carries and delivers a child for intended parents, using embryos made with eggs that are not hers.[1] “Gestational surrogate” means the same thing.[1]
Surrogate. The everyday term. Many carriers use it for themselves, so follow her lead on what she’d like to be called.
Traditional surrogate. A woman who carries a baby conceived with her own egg, which makes her the genetic mother. This is legally more complicated than a gestational arrangement, so talk with an attorney before considering it.
Donor. A person who provides an egg, sperm, or embryo. Donors are not legal parents and do not carry the pregnancy.
Genetic parent. The person whose egg or sperm created the embryo. Many families prefer “genetic” to “biological,” since a carrier is biologically part of the pregnancy too.
The professionals
Agency. Recruits and screens carriers, makes the match, and coordinates the process. Services vary from one agency to the next.
Independent (indy) surrogacy. A journey arranged without an agency. It puts more of the coordination on you.
Reproductive endocrinologist (RE). The fertility specialist who oversees IVF, embryo creation, and transfer.
Surrogacy attorney. A lawyer who practices reproductive law. Intended parents and the carrier should each have their own.
Travel newborn care specialist. Cares for your baby from the first hours after birth and travels home with your family, by car, train, or plane. This is my role.
The medical steps
IVF. Eggs and sperm are combined in a lab to create embryos.
Embryo transfer and FET. The embryo is placed in the carrier’s uterus. A frozen embryo transfer uses an embryo that was frozen earlier.
Beta. The blood test that measures hCG to confirm a pregnancy.
Screening. Medical and psychological evaluations completed before a match moves forward.
The legal terms
Laws on third-party reproduction vary by state and keep changing.[2] Your attorney will confirm how each of these works where you live and where your baby is born.
Gestational carrier agreement. The contract covering compensation, medical decisions, and responsibilities for everyone involved.
Escrow. A neutral third party that holds and releases funds according to the contract.
Pre-birth order (PBO). A court order, available in many places, that establishes the intended parents as the legal parents before delivery.
Post-birth order. The same legal result, issued after the baby is born.
Adoption. In some places, a parent may need to adopt even with a contract and court order in place. Ask your attorney early, because it can affect timing.
Documents when your baby is born in the U.S. and you live abroad
If your baby is born in the U.S. and you’re flying home to another country, you’ll be working with two sets of rules: the U.S. documents your baby needs to leave, and the destination country’s rules for bringing your baby in. The destination country may have its own requirements for entry, residency, or citizenship. These can depend on your nationality and on how your baby was conceived. Confirm them with that country’s consulate and an attorney who knows its law, and do it well before your due date. A delay with one document can move a flight, and with a newborn you want that conversation settled early.
Documents when your baby is born in the U.S. and you live abroad
If your baby is born in the U.S. and you’re flying home to another country, you’ll be working with two sets of rules: the U.S. documents your baby needs to leave, and the destination country’s rules for bringing your baby in. The destination country may have its own requirements for entry, residency, or citizenship. These can depend on your nationality and on how your baby was conceived. Confirm them with that country’s consulate and an attorney who knows its law, and do it well before your due date. A delay with one document can move a flight, and with a newborn you want that conversation settled early.
Documents when your baby is born abroad
If your baby is born outside the U.S. and you’re bringing them to the United States, the State Department decides your child’s citizenship when you apply for a Consular Report of Birth Abroad (CRBA) or a U.S. passport.[3] It may ask for proof of the child’s conception and birth, genetic or gestational connections, your identity and citizenship, and your legal status as a parent under local law.[3] A CRBA documents citizenship at birth. It does not prove who the legal parents are.[3]
Generally, a U.S. citizen who is the genetic father, or the genetic or gestational and legal mother, can pass on citizenship. A U.S. citizen parent with no genetic or gestational tie may qualify if married to a parent who has one at the time of birth.[3] If a child doesn’t meet the requirements, the child has not acquired U.S. citizenship at birth.[3] Some families with a genetic or gestational tie to a U.S. citizen parent may still qualify under Section 309 of the Immigration and Nationality Act.[3]
For a child under 16, all legal parents or guardians should approve the passport, including a surrogate who is the legal mother under local law.[3] In some countries, a child born to a surrogate doesn’t receive that country’s citizenship, so the child may not be able to get a passport there.[3] If your child is not a U.S. citizen, entering the United States can be difficult.[3] The State Department recommends consulting an immigration attorney and checking with the embassy or consulate in the country of birth.[3]
Language that respects everyone involved
Your carrier will notice the words you choose.
Use “carrier” or “surrogate.” “Surrogate mother” fits only a traditional surrogate.
You are the parents, and no one else is the “real” parent.
Use “compensation.” She is not being paid for a baby.
Call it a journey, not a transaction.
Why I’m sharing this
The paperwork, the legal timeline, and the travel plan are all connected. A delay with a document can change a flight. A change in delivery date can change a hotel booking. When I plan a trip with a family, we start with the due date and work backward, and that conversation goes much better when everyone is using the same words.
I travel anywhere your baby is born, and I’ve done it with a family whose home was on the other side of the world. I handle feeding, diapering, soothing, and safety from the hospital to your front door, so you can spend those first days simply being a parent.
If you have an estimated due date, ideally in your second trimester, reach out, and we’ll start planning. Schedule a call with me.
This post is general education and is not legal or medical advice. Please consult a qualified surrogacy attorney and, if your baby is born abroad or you’re moving to another country, an immigration attorney.
Sources
[1] American Society for Reproductive Medicine, ReproductiveFacts.org, “Third-Party Reproduction: Gestational Carrier (Surrogate).” https://www.reproductivefacts.org/browse-all-topics/third-party-topic/
[2] ASRM Center for Policy and Leadership, “Gestational Carrier Policy in the United States.” https://www.asrm.org/advocacy-and-policy/fact-sheets-and-one-pagers/gestational-carrier-policy-in-the-united-states
[3] U.S. Department of State, “Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) and Surrogacy Abroad” (last updated October 31, 2024). https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal-considerations/us-citizenship-laws-policies/assisted-reproductive-technology.html
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