Self-Soothing in Babies
Self-Soothing in Babies: What It Is, When It Starts, and Why It Matters
If you’re an anxious parent, you’re not alone. The moment your baby cries, your instinct is to rush in and comfort them immediately—and that’s natural. But part of supporting your baby’s growth is helping them learn the skill of self-soothing.
Let’s gently unpack what self-soothing in babies is, when it typically begins, what it looks like, and why giving your baby space to practice can help them (and you) get more rest and build confidence.
What Is Self-Soothing in Babies?
Self-soothing is your baby’s ability to calm themselves without constant external help. It can happen when your baby is falling asleep or when they briefly wake between sleep cycles. It doesn’t mean letting your baby cry indefinitely; it’s about giving them small opportunities to try calming themselves before you step in.
When Do Babies Start Self-Soothing?
Most babies start showing early self-soothing signs between 4 and 6 months, such as:
Sucking on their hands or fingers
Turning their head side to side
Making soft cooing sounds to comfort themselves
Briefly fussing and then settling back to sleep
Some younger babies may also show small signs of self-soothing by sucking on their hands during drowsy periods.
What Does Self-Soothing Look Like?
It can be subtle. Your baby may:
✨ Suck on their thumb or fingers
✨ Rub their face against a swaddle or sleep sack
✨ Wiggle or reposition themselves to get comfortable
✨ Let out a few cries or fusses and then fall asleep again
These small actions are your baby’s way of practicing self-regulation. This skill supports longer sleep stretches and emotional resilience over time.
Why Is It Important to Give Babies Space to Self-Soothe?
Allowing your baby short, supported opportunities to practice self-soothing can:
✅ Support Better Sleep: Babies can learn to connect sleep cycles, helping them (and you) sleep longer.
✅ Build Emotional Regulation: It helps your baby learn they can handle small discomforts with your support in the background.
✅ Encourage Independence: While babies still need your comfort, self-soothing supports healthy attachment by letting them discover their own calming strategies.
✅ Respect Their Process: Rushing in too quickly can sometimes interrupt your baby’s natural settling efforts.
How to Support Your Baby’s Self-Soothing
Supporting self-soothing is not “crying it out.” It’s about:
💛 Giving a brief pause when your baby fusses to see if they can settle.
💛 Offering a comforting touch while allowing them to suck on their fingers if they wish.
💛 Creating a calm, consistent sleep environment that helps them feel secure.
💛 Responding if your baby’s cries escalate, ensuring their needs are always met.
Self-soothing is a gradual skill that takes time to develop. Every baby is unique, and some may develop at a slower pace than others. Your presence, love, and consistency are what make it possible for your baby to practice this skill when they’re ready.
By understanding self-soothing and giving your baby space to try, you’re supporting their emotional growth while creating room for more restful nights ahead.
If you need guidance with newborn sleep support or gentle sleep coaching, I’m here to walk alongside you on this journey. You don’t have to navigate these transitions alone.
